The Money Avoidance wealth wound is the habit of not looking at your money: unchecked balances, unopened invoices and spending you never track, because looking feels worse than not knowing. It’s one of the 5 wealth wounds, and its antidote is Receptiveness, meaning you can see, hold and receive money without shutting down.
It shows up in high earners just as often as in people who are struggling. I know, because it was mine. Do you resonate with any of the following?
Do you resonate with any of the following?
- Spend without consideration
- Avoid looking at money
- Dismiss income
- Work rather than enjoy life
- Often spending all your money
- Enjoy life to the detriment of valuing money
These are all beliefs that stem from a money Avoidance #WealthWound. Take the wealth wound quiz here.
What is a money avoidance mindset?
An avoidance mindset when it comes to money involves ignoring your income or expenses in order to avoid discomfort. The discomfort might be stress around income, a lack of understanding or clarity around your finances, or wanting to spend more than you have.
Subconsciously, avoidance is a form of mental programming where we believe that money causes suffering.
My Personal Story of Avoidance
When I started healing my own money stories, I ended up hiring a financial coach at one point. To be honest and vulnerable, this was the first time I looked in detail at what my monthly business expenses were. Part of the reason for this avoidance for me personally was that my income was high, but could be volatile, and I had NO income projections at all. I was winging it every month, which worked – until it didn’t.
The first time I met with the financial coach I was SO uptight. I felt defensive, agitated and got emotional easily. This had nothing to do with her or even with my money. It was the fact that going into detail about my finances was dysregulating my nervous system. My body was literally going into fight or flight.
I have NEVER heard any financial or budget guru talk about this!
This extreme stress over simply LOOKING at money is valid, and it’s common enough to be the second most popular result on the #WealthWound quiz. Once I actually looked at my money, I was in a MUCH better position than I thought I was. And I know exactly what my income and expenses are now, which means I know exactly what abundance is now. I’ve never felt so light and grateful around money in my life.
So what was the solution? We will get to that soon, but let’s talk more about avoidance first.
Where does avoidance mindset come from?
Avoidance mindset around money stems from a variety of sources, including past experiences with financial hardship, religious beliefs, societal norms, or even ancestral or generational trauma.
In fact, sometimes your avoidance around money has NOTHING to do with money, as our nervous systems can get wires crossed when it comes to trauma.
The Problems with avoidance mindset around money
People with an avoidance mindset may fear taking risks and making investments, or may hesitate to buy things when they need to. They may also feel uncomfortable talking about money or discussing finances.
People with an avoidance mindset may prioritize short-term gratification over long-term planning. They may avoid doing research or asking for advice that would help them understand how to save money and increase their financial security. They might spend too much on unnecessary items rather than investing in something that would benefit them in the long run.
This often results in people not taking advantage of opportunities that could help them become more secure financially.
An avoidance mindset is detrimental because it leads people to make decisions OR avoiding decisions that aren’t helpful for their overall financial health.
What does the Money Avoidance wealth wound feel like in your body?
Money avoidance is usually a freeze response. When money feels threatening and you can’t fight it or run from it, your nervous system shuts down. You go numb, foggy or suddenly very busy with anything else.
Common signs:
- Your mind goes blank or fuzzy when you look at numbers.
- You feel a wave of tiredness the moment it’s time to do your bookkeeping.
- You put off sending invoices, even when you need the money.
- You spend to feel relief, then avoid checking what you spent.
Avoidance has a real cost. Klontz’s money scripts research found that people with “money avoidance” beliefs tended to have lower income and net worth.
The fix isn’t forcing yourself to stare at a spreadsheet; it’s looking in doses small enough that your body stays present. Set a 10-minute timer, put a hand on your chest, and look at just one number.
The Antidote to Money Avoidance: Receptiveness
Gratitude is a powerful healing force, and there is a lot of data and research to back this up. This is especially true when it comes to our relationship with money.
What heals avoidance is receptiveness – learning to receive more easily, and feel grateful for what you already have.
Money can be a source of great insecurity, fear, stress and powerlessness. It can be hard to overcome feelings of avoidance when your nervous system becomes dysregulated at the thought of money. However with receptiveness, we can start to shift our perspective. Learning to recieve what is already here helps us to recognize the abundance that exists in all areas of life –including our finances– rather than focusing on what we lack.
In expressing gratitude for all that we already have, it gives us the opportunity to open ourselves up to new possibilities and opportunities.
Regulating Your Nervous System
When first learning to look at your money, I want you to know that it will be easier for some reading this than others. For some of you, the simple awareness that this is a #WealthWound will make you feel brave.
But some of you will feel like your world is collapsing at the thought of looking at money. It will make every muscle in your body become tight – and this is super normal.
Receptiveness is the Antidote to healing avoidance, but a calm nervous system will help too. Some tips to help you build resilience when it comes to looking at your money:
- Breathwork exercises
- Cold showers
- Somatic healing
Here is an article on “trauma effects on mindset” that might be helpful.
Also, here is an article on regulating your nervous system as a stress strategy in entrepreneurship.
Why receptiveness works
When we practice receptiveness with money specifically, it can help us to recognize how far we’ve come already.
In my story above, when I finally LOOKED at my finances, I realized how much I’d accomplished. I saw I was in.a better position than I thought. Then, I had a realistic and manageable view of the gaps and opportunities. I was more optimistic about my financial situation.
Instead of avoiding money problems or feeling overwhelmed by them, we can instead take ownership. Get out of shame. Gratitude helps us see our current resources as a gift. Looking at your money will help you focus on asset building which will provide greater long-term security. (Rather than just trying to get out from under debt or meet immediate needs.)
Receptiveness opens us to possibility. An avoidant mindset causes us to reject opportunities, hide away from possibilities, or refuse to give ourselves permission and freedom.
You can’t heal your #WealthWound by avoiding money.
Receptiveness opens up neural pathways that were once unseen. By simply being open and willing, we create space for creativity, exploration and solutions.
This enables us to not only to manifest our goals, but also experience greater joy in the process. Ultimately, this allows us to have a deeper appreciation for life.
Isn’t that the point of wanting more money anyway?
When we embrace receptiveness and receiving, it allows us to see beyond our current circumstances. Towards a reality where anything is possible.
FAQs
Q: What is money avoidance? A: Money avoidance is a pattern of not looking at or dealing with your finances because it feels overwhelming or unsafe. That can mean not checking balances, delaying invoices or ignoring bills. It’s one of the 5 wealth wounds, and its antidote is Receptiveness.
Q: Why do I avoid looking at my bank account? A: Usually because your nervous system has linked money with threat. Looking at your account triggers a freeze response, so your brain steers you away from it to protect you. It isn’t laziness. It’s an old survival pattern that needs safety, not shame.
Q: Can you have money avoidance if you make a lot of money? A: Yes. Plenty of high earners avoid their numbers, especially when income is unpredictable. I ran a profitable business for years without looking closely at my finances. When I finally did, my real position was stronger than I feared.
Q: How do I stop avoiding money? A: Start small and regulate first. Take a few slow breaths, then look at one number for 10 minutes and stop. Repeat it weekly. Over time your nervous system learns that looking is safe, and Receptiveness, the antidote to Money Avoidance, becomes your default.
Next Steps: Healing Wealth Wounds
Not sure which wealth wound is yours? Take the free quiz in the Wealth Wound Antidote Kit. Six questions tell you your wound, your antidote, and what to do next. For the big picture, start with what a wealth wound is and where it comes from.
Read the other wealth wounds:
- Money Fears: when the other shoe always feels about to drop (antidote: Courage)
- Money Avoidance: when not looking feels safer (antidote: Receptiveness)
- Scarcity: when enough is never enough (antidote: Abundance)
- Unworthiness: when you don’t feel you deserve it (antidote: Worthiness)
- Martyr: when less money feels more noble (antidote: Empowerment)
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