Martyr Complex and Money Mindset
Do you let your desire to be a martyr limit you in life? We all live with limiting beliefs, and most of us have had limiting beliefs around money and our ability to experience abundance. I refer to this as a #WealthWound, and you can take the #WealthWound quiz here to find out which of the five main beliefs are your current bottleneck.
- Being poor is noble
- I can’t be spiritual and rich
- I’m a better person if I have less money
- Rich people are bad
- Money is bad
- Rich people did bad things to get rich
- Having money will change my identity
These are all beliefs that stem from a Martyr #WealthWound.
The Problem with Being a Martyr
#1: You limit your actual ability to help others.
The worst part about always putting yourself last? Is that it actually doesn’t benefit anyone who needs help or more resources. You cannot make yourself poor enough to help everyone out of poverty or out of a bad situation who needs it. The real truth is that the more resources you have, the more options you have. Not just for yourself, but for how you choose to help other people.
#2: You limit your ability to create financial safety for yourself.
Putting yourself last – even when you DO have some success and choose to give it away – might feel like it benefits other people. And I know you are doing this out of so much love for others! It might feel like you’re creating abundance with selflessness. But the truth is that this martyr mentality does the opposite: it limits your own financial success.
Sacrificing for others and not rewarding yourself for the work that you do is extremely limiting, however. It often prevents you from investing in yourself, and creating financial safety. It sabotages the success you desire. The lack of investment in yourself and rewards for your hard work actually STUNTS your personal growth, and therefore, your financial stability.
It IS helpful and loving and “of service” to give to others, but not at the expense of your own safety or future.
#3: You perpetuate scarcity for people around you
Lastly, constantly devaluing yourself by putting everyone else first sets a bad example of abundance. Especially those closest to you.
If you don’t show those around you that investing in yourself is important, chances are they won’t understand why it is necessary either. And if they don’t understand why it is important then they’ll be less likely to invest in themselves, leading them down the same path of financial instability.
On the other hand, by making yourself a priority, you show others that they can make themselves a priority too. Actively tale time out of your day to invest in yourself and set a good example of a healthy balance between helping others and helping yourself.
THIS is what will set foundations for future generations to build their own success.
The Antidote: Empowerment
Empowerment can play a significant role in helping remove the martyr mindset.
The martyr mindset refers to an attitude of having to suffer and struggle in order to achieve your goals.
In other words, it’s when we convince ourselves that something is too hard or too daunting and that great effort and sacrifice are necessary in order to reap rewards. This mindset is pretty heckin’ unmotivating. And it leaves us feeling powerless and disheartened.
What is empowerment when it comes to money mindset?
Empowerment is the idea that you are the creator of your reality. You can’t control others’ actions, of course, and it’s true that bad things happen in the world, and you are not responsible for them. But you DO get to choose what YOU do.
Knowing you control your reality allows you to take radical responsibility, and this is massively empowering! It frees us from the idea that we are powerless to change our lives. You are not a victim. You can create the life you want. No one can ultimately prevent your success. By taking control of our lives we become less prone to victimhood and learn how to manifest what we want without having to resort to self-sacrifice or suffering.
Harnessing the law of attraction requires that we take responsibility for our thoughts, beliefs and actions – an empowering process in itself.
By cultivating an empowerment, we can start setting intentions that lead to what you really want.
To begin elevating your money mindset, learning more about your #WealthWound and utilizing fun tools for creating more abundance in your life, check out my Abundance Mindset Bundle.
Money Mindset Journal Prompts
1. What have I done today to take care of myself and make sure that my health and wellbeing are prioritized?
2. How can I be kinder to myself and show more love, patience, and understanding?
3. What small steps can I take to make sure that I am creating enough time in my day for self-care activities?
4. What makes me truly happy and how can I ensure that I allow myself moments of joy every day?
5. When was the last time I went outside just for the sake of enjoying nature?
6. What would it look like if I gave myself permission to say no to things that deplete my energy without feeling guilty about it?
7. How can I give myself more credit when it comes to recognizing the accomplishments, big or small, that I have achieved?
8. What do I need in order to feel safe and secure in my environment both physically and emotionally?
9. How can I practice healthy boundaries with others so that their expectations do not become my own?
10. What is something new that I have learned recently, either through research or experience, which has helped me grow as an individual?
11. Who are some positive role models in my life who provide support while also respecting my autonomy as an individual?
12. In what ways do the beliefs, values, and attitudes of those around me impact how much love and respect I give to myself?
13. How do different types of self-talk affect my mental state throughout the day?
14. How am I making sure that each decision reflects what matters most on a personal level instead of external motivations or influences from others?
15. What are some simple habits or rituals which help me create a sense of tranquility during difficult times in life?
16. Am I taking responsibility for treating all aspects of myself with kindness such as physical body, mind/thoughts, emotions, relationships/connections etc.?
17. How can I reconnect with the things in life which fill me up such as meaningful activities or hobbies or even going out into nature etc.?
18. What needs am I currently not meeting due to lack of resources or awareness about them within myself?
19. In what ways has neglecting my needs actually prevented me from helping someone else who might be in need?
20. What strategies can I use to increase feelings of self worth while also being mindful not to fall into any comparison traps?
21. What would it look like if I allowed myself enough time & space every day just for rest & reflection?
22. How has taking care of myself & showing more compassion towards myself enabled me to be more compassionate towards other people?
23. Am I doing anything regularly which allows me to express gratitude towards all aspects of life – people, situations, no matter how difficult they may be at times?
24. How does acknowledging & honoring both successes & failures contribute to overall wellbeing & peace within yourself?
25. In what ways is it necessary for us all , especially during challenging times, to keep reminding ourselves that we are worthy, deserving & capable humans worthy of unconditional love & respect?
To begin elevating your money mindset, learning more about your #WealthWound and utilizing fun tools for creating more abundance in your life, check out the Abundance Mindset Bundle.